Alcoholism Intervention: How to Help a Loved One Accept Treatment

What is an Alcoholism Intervention?

An alcoholism intervention is a pre-planned meeting where people who care about someone with an alcohol problem (usually family or friends) express their feelings and concerns regarding the person’s drinking and urge them to seek professional help.[1]

The key difference between an intervention and a conversation about drinking is that an intervention involves planning and coordination, not simply an argument or confrontation. A planned meeting, like an intervention, involves a discussion among several parties before it begins. Beforehand, each participant agrees on what they will say, what the goal of the meeting will be, and how the other may react. An alcoholism intervention has no intent to humiliate or to trap anyone into accepting treatment. Its purpose is to make it clear that there is a way to get treatment for their problem and that support will be offered throughout the recovery process.

In most cases, interventions work better if focused on encouragement instead of punishment. If an alcoholic realizes that others are concerned for their well-being and wish to help them recover from their addiction, then they are likely to be far more receptive to changing behaviors than when they feel punished. One of the greatest distinctions between an effective, planned intervention and an unproductive confrontation is the former’s positive attitude and the latter’s negative approach.

Another benefit of planning an intervention is allowing all parties involved to communicate with intentionality instead of reacting emotionally. Instead of expressing frustration as it is, participants can reflect on what they intend to express, choose their wording carefully, and present a unified voice. 

Ultimatum and Interventions: How Do They Differ?

An ultimatum is simply a threat: “you can either stop drinking, or you will face serious consequences.” 

An intervention, however, creates an atmosphere of concern through healthy boundaries and non-judgmental accountability as opposed to creating an environment of fear. Rather than making a demand in an intervention setting, each participant explains specifically how the person’s alcohol misuse has affected their own lives and provides support to help the person seek treatment. Most threats do little to motivate long-term recovery because they are based on controlling behavior instead of connecting with that person’s need for help. 

Signs That Indicate An Intervention May Be Needed

Sometimes, family members are unsure about whether or not an alcohol intervention should take place. 

There are some indicators that may suggest this could be needed:

• Increasing patterns of alcohol abuse, such as drinking more frequently, consuming larger amounts over time, or engaging in binge drinking. 
• Several failed attempts to decrease or stop drinking
• Withdrawal symptoms occur when trying to cease drinking (shakes, vomiting)
• DUI arrests or other legal issues resulting from alcohol 
• Relationship problems due to excessive drinking
• Loss of job or reduced productivity at work due to drinking
• Secretive behavior around drinking
• Continuing to drink despite negative consequences

If several of these signs seem like something you’ve noticed recently in someone you love, it may indicate an alcohol use disorder.[2]  Please note that you don’t need to see all of the warning signs above before concern is warranted. A pattern developing gradually can also serve as a red flag indicating that things are moving in a negative direction.

Trust your instincts. Family members and friends typically see patterns of behavior long before the person is aware of a potential issue. If you feel like something has changed or appears out-of-place, then it is justifiable to think about ways to address what you see as a potentially problematic trend.

Is It Ever Too Early to Stage an Intervention?

There are many families wondering how far they have to let their loved one go before taking action. Oftentimes by this point, the drinking has become more hazardous and may progress into more severe substance use disorders requiring more intensive treatment. 

In all cases, there really is no such thing as “too soon” to express your concerns and offer support. Intervening on the warning signs as soon as possible may also avoid many of the worst of the physical and legal problems associated with long-term drinking.[3]

How to Plan a Successful Alcoholism Intervention

The planning process for an alcoholism intervention needs to be well thought out. Without a plan, this type of conversation may cause confusion, hurt feelings, and potentially lose the chance to help the person with their addiction.

Step 1: Include the Right People

Choose people you know are very close to the person and have always had their best interests in mind. Although it may seem counterintuitive, smaller groups tend to produce better results than larger gatherings.[4] Large groups can be overwhelming.

You should also not bring people who may have enabled the person’s behavior in the past. They may send mixed messages during the conversation and ultimately may confuse the purpose of the conversation.

Step 2: Agree on What Success Looks Like

Prior to the actual intervention, take some time to discuss what success would look like, whether it’s:

• Entering into a medically supervised detox program
• Attending residential rehabilitation
• Participating in outpatient counseling
• Beginning addiction treatment
• Seeking a professional evaluation 

By establishing prior agreements on what success means, you will be able to maintain focus during the actual conversation and avoid the temptation to turn the conversation into another argument over all of your disagreements.

Step 3: Secure Treatment Before the Conversation

Another important step in preparing for an alcoholism intervention is to secure treatment options before holding the intervention.

Make sure health insurance covers treatment, book a bed in a treatment facility if possible, arrange for transportation, and help pack essentials in advance. If treatment is available to begin immediately after the intervention, it eliminates the opportunity for the person to change their mind or put off receiving necessary help. This is one of the major reasons why securing treatment before a brief intervention is critical. Securing treatment options provides a concrete follow-up and can be the difference between an intervention that produces immediate action versus one that merely ends in promises to think about it.

Step 4: Rehearse Together

Practice what each person will say and how the group will respond if the conversation gets tense. Staying calm and remaining united as a group matters more than having perfect words. Prepare responses to common objections in advance so the group isn’t caught off guard. It can also help to designate one person to guide the conversation and keep things on track if emotions start to run high.

What Should You Say During an Intervention?

Compassion and specifics make a big difference. 

Examples include: “I’ve noticed that your substance use is causing you to miss things that are important to you,” “I love you, and I want to support you in getting help,” or “I’m worried about your safety if this continues.” These types of statements can often create a bigger impact than making an accusation.

When developing your plan, consider the following tips:

• Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements
• Stick to specific examples instead of broad statements
• Offer concern, hope, and reassurance
• Keep the focus on treatment; do not focus on previous issues

The goal is not to win a debate, but to show how much you care about them and how much support is available to them if they decide to take advantage of it. When coming from a position of caring versus anger or frustration, you may find that you will be able to persuade others more effectively.

What Should You Avoid Saying?

Certain approaches tend to shut down conversation rather than open it up.

It also helps to avoid yelling, avoid shaming language, avoid debating whether the person has a problem, and avoid stepping in to enable the behavior going forward.

Should You Hire an Interventionist?

Hiring a professional interventionist could be helpful for your family. The benefits of hiring a professional interventionist are as follows:

• They will assist with keeping the topic at hand during the conversation.
• A professional interventionist can help keep emotions under control, preventing them from escalating.
• A professional interventionist can help your family before the meeting by preparing them for possible reactions
• If the individual decides to receive treatment after the conversation, a professional interventionist can facilitate their admission.

You may want to hire a professional interventionist if:

• There has been a past history of severe alcohol dependence, and there is no other choice than to seek immediate help.
• There are co-occurring mental health issues.
• Past attempts at intervening were unsuccessful.
• Previous conversations have resulted in aggressive behavior or violence toward yourself or others.
• The person poses a significant risk to themselves
• Severe withdrawal is expected

In these cases, a professional interventionist can guide your family away from common mistakes and help prevent further conflict. Even though not all families need the assistance of a professional to successfully complete an intervention, many find it beneficial to have some type of external guidance because it relieves a great deal of stress and increases the likelihood of a positive outcome. This is especially true for those who have had negative results from previous conversations.

Questions to Ask Before Hiring an Interventionist

1. What model does your organization use for interventions?
2. What qualifications do you have?
3. Will you attend our intervention?
4. Do you arrange for post-intervention admission into treatment?
5. If our loved one declines to accept treatment, what would happen next?

What Are the Possible Outcomes of an Alcohol Intervention?

There are only two outcomes, and it is helpful to be prepared for each.

If the Person Accepts Treatment

Ideally, when possible, immediate admittance into treatment would be best. The type of treatment will depend upon how severe the addiction is, such as medical detoxification, residential treatment, or outpatient treatment. Participating in family therapy during this time, as well as establishing long-term recovery plans, will increase the likelihood of the person being successful in their long-term recovery.[5] Having transportation arrangements made prior to the intervention, as well as having all necessary paperwork ready, will make it so much easier to transition directly from the conversation about treatment into the first step.

If the Person Refuses Treatment

Refusal does not have to mean the end. 

The first intervention may or may not be successful in leading the person to treatment immediately, but it could very well plant the seed which will eventually grow into change. 

In the meantime, families should remain firm with the limits established during the alcohol intervention, not engage in enabling or rescuing the person from consequences, and encourage treatment from time to time. It is also helpful to seek support for yourself while waiting for your loved one to accept treatment. There are several options, including a therapist, a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous, or other trusted friends or family members who are aware of your current situation.

Common Mistakes Families Make During an Intervention

• Delaying until later to address the issue
• Not preparing
• Having too many people attend
• Selecting a location that has a tense or uncomfortable atmosphere
• Not arranging for treatment before the conversation starts
• Conversations becoming arguments
• Setting consequences that are unsustainable

Family members can avoid making these common errors by planning ahead. Those families which plan together,  rehearse, and have arranged for treatment before the conversation, generally see less conflict and more positive outcomes.

What Families Should Expect To Do After An Intervention

Supporting a loved one’s recovery does not stop once you’ve had that first talk about the need for help. The same ways families were able to assist them during the treatment process can also be used to support their recovery. 

Research has shown that family participation in this type of recovery contributes significantly to better long-term results for those being treated.[6]

Family members still have to set boundaries and stop enabling, even though it may feel like helping their loved one. People who are recovering do so at different rates, so there may also be setbacks. When we celebrate what our loved ones accomplish on their journey toward recovery, we create encouragement and motivate all of us to keep working towards a brighter future.